The Intimidating combination consists of high Ambition (HPI) and Reserved (HDS) and low Interpersonal Sensitivity (HPI), Sociability (HPI), and Affiliation (MVPI). From a values perspective, these individuals prefer to work alone (AFF) and value their private time. They are most comfortable with environments that don’t require a lot of teamwork and collaboration. They likely mind to themselves (SOC) and only reach out when their agenda calls for it (AMB). When they do interact with others, people may find them to be very direct but somewhat blunt with their interactions (INT). Often times this brusqueness comes off too strong, which in turn may hurt others feelings and/or damage relationships (Reserved).
This combination has several challenges, all of which are centered on communication and building and maintaining relationships. These individuals come across as very intense and have the tendency to be seen as a dictator from time to time, even if they didn’t mean to come across this way. They have the tendency to push hard for results, but do so in a manner that can be described as pushy. Their tough love approach is likely not taken well by others. As a result, their relationships either never begin or over time, start to deteriorate.
The first coaching tip they should Start doing is thinking about how their approach comes across to others. A mirroring exercise would be a great way for them to first view how they approach a problem, then see it from a different perspective. First, present a situation where the coachee must provide a response. Then rephrase that response to be less direct and more congenial. Work with the coachee to devise a series of “plug in” phrases that they could use when communicating. These could be greetings, compliments and/or adjectives that are more positive. The next time they engage in conversation, have them try these out and have them tune into the other person’s response.
These individuals prefer to be alone, sometimes so much that they send non-verbal signals to others that they don’t want to be bothered. This could be a look on their face or having their door closed for a long period of time. Also, when they feel like they’ve been interrupted by others, their response is so intense it likely deters others from reaching out even when needed. Over time, others may start to refrain from reaching out. One coaching tip to get them to Stop sending these signals to others and become more visible in the organisation, is to first identify opportunities where they do have the option to get out of their office. Would they be willing to have an open door policy where people can stop by if they need something? This could be once a week or more depending on their comfort zone. Another option could be to have in-person meetings if their typical practice is doing meetings over the phone. One more opportunity could be when they get up to stretch their legs or get a drink, have them commit to stopping by someone’s office that they work with to check in and say hello. All of these are little ways to get them more visibility which will hopefully overtime help their “behind the scenes” reputation.
Lastly, one of the strengths of this combination is they’re motivated and determined to set their expectations high for themselves and for others. They expect a lot, but sometimes when they communicate their expectations, it likely comes off as an “order”. As a result, others become disempowered and are less likely to be motivated to live up to their expectations. When they’re communicating their goals and agenda moving forward, have them Continue to set the bar high and push hard for results; however, when they do so, make sure they are using some of the techniques provided previously. This will not only help others to see the expectations in a more desirable way, but it likely will motivate and possibly inspire them to push harder for results.
