In this article, we will explore coaching strategies for individuals who exhibit both high Excitable and high Reserved tendencies under stress and pressure. Those scoring high on Excitable tend to be overly emotional and unpredictable, which may result in stressed relationships or an overly critical nature. They may have a tendency to lose interest in people or projects. Alternatively, those scoring high on Reserved may appear interpersonally insensitive and uncomfortable around strangers. They will likely exhibit a strong preference for working alone, and may not be viewed as a team player by others.
One challenge for these individuals is how they communicate to others. When stressed, they will likely communicate in a more direct way that is emotionally charged. When the Excitable emerges, we expect to see a very loud and emotional communication style. The individual is likely irritated by others, which will cause others to Move Away. Alternatively, when the Reserved emerges, we expect to see a more direct and insensitive manner of communication, which may cause others to move away from them to avoid direct criticism. When coaching the individual around their communication style, help them understand how each of these tendencies might emerge when facing stress. Perhaps there are others in the organisation that the individual should reach out to as confidantes in times of stress, who can help them reconcile the best way to approach the situation in order to avoid such irritated, blunt communication.
Although both derailment tendencies result in inhibited working relationships, there appears to be a conflict in the notion that one could both exhibit emotional outbursts and withdraw from others. It may be that these two tendencies emerge at different times and result in different patterns of responses. While both of these scores reside in the Moving Away category, others may be more likely to move away from high Excitable individuals, while high Reserved individuals are more likely to withdraw from others. Thus, certain situations or individuals may trigger more of an emotional response in which an individual will cause others to keep their distance, while other situations may cause the individual to retreat from others. Understanding what triggers each of these derailment tendencies to emerge is key to helping the high Excitable and Reserved individual implement coaching strategies.
When the high Excitable tendency emerges, remind the individual that emotional outbursts may upset staff, reduce productivity and negatively affect performance. Others may move away to avoid an unpredictable response or emotional outburst. Help the individual analyse the situations in which he/she becomes frustrated. What signs does he or she exhibit when about to lose control? Encourage the individual to take a time out when they feel an Excitable moment on the horizon. It may be helpful to list situations or particular individuals that trigger this kind of emotional response. Next time they are in a similar situation, they can readily take a step back to consider how they might react differently to avoid an emotional outburst.
It is also critical to discern what might trigger a more Reserved response. When this tendency emerges, the individual is likely to withdraw or move away from others. Rather than calling attention to oneself, the individual is likely to create distance with others and appear unconcerned with others’ priorities or concerns. Help the high Reserved understand that this distance may inhibit communication. Rather than ignoring the concerns of others, encourage the individual to make a conscious effort to interact on a daily basis with colleagues, supervisors, and subordinates, despite their preference for working alone. Have the individual consider instances when they exhibited Reserved tendencies under stress. Have them write down specific instances in which they can seek out others instead of withdrawing.
