There is a scale that can be considered a conflict with Cautious, which is Sceptical. Those scoring higher on Cautious tend to hold back from making decisions and are reluctant to try new things because of either their fear of failure or their fear of being criticised. Those scoring higher on Sceptical tend to have no problem sharing their thoughts and opinions, often in a more negative or cynical tone. When others try to share their thoughts or new ideas, higher Sceptical folks may tend to disregard their ideas or point out potential negative outcomes. This likely causes them to push away others and others likely will move away from them due to their critical and defensive manner/nature. If the individual is having both a high Cautious and Sceptical moment, we likely will see them bringing down the morale of the group as well as stalling with providing ideas for fear that others may criticise them.
The first coaching tip is to help them identify what is causing them to either hold back from making a decision or point out why a decision won’t work. It is more of the fear that it will be wrong and they will be criticised, or are they are holding back because they don’t trust the person that is presenting the idea or overall solution. If it is the first scenario, you may want to have them start thinking of situations where they stalled because of a fear that others wouldn’t find it to be a viable solution. Ask them “what’s the worst thing that could happen and how would my decision impact my career and organisation if they were to choose to make the decision.” Then discuss what the best case scenario would look like and the impact it would have for them. Getting them to think about the impact of their decision and how it could have a positive outcome will help them to be more open to presenting solutions versus holding back. Also, when they have a new idea or are ready to present a decision, have them ask a trusted colleague or friend if it is a good idea. This may help ease some of their discomfort with change as well as determine the best solution.
If it was more about how they didn’t trust the individual presenting the solution, then it will be important for them to ask for others’ viewpoints, show sensitivity in communicating with others, and take coworkers’ actions at face value. Given that higher scores on Sceptical tend to be argumentative when expressing their opinions, they will need to think about their words and impact they have on others; are they emotionally charged to the point that the overall outcome will cause others to feel mistreated or see them as distrustful? As a coach, it will be important to help them develop their communication style and ability to trust. One tip is to help them identify when and who they tend to feel more distrustful. Was there a past issue that caused them to feel this way? The next time they are in a similar situation, have the other person share their thoughts and solution before they provide their thoughts and opinions. Have them think about what they are going to say and how it may come across before they share their thoughts. Get them to understand that being critical can be a strength, but only when alternative solutions are offered. As such, they should spend time asking questions to fully understand the other’s point of view before offering their opinions, and try to show sensitivity by choosing their language appropriately. Overall, it will be beneficial for them to understand that, unless there is a way to reach agreement on a topic or an issue, they should try to avoid arguments.
