Today, we will discuss the conflict between Leisurely and Dutiful. A common theme between these two scales is that they both contain a desire to avoid conflict and confrontation with others. We likely will see high Leisurely individuals avoiding conflict due to their independent nature of wanting to focus on their own agenda. Their need for independence often causes resentment towards others when they are asked for requests. Rather than confront the individual who is asking for the request, we may see the high Leisurely individual agreeing in order to avoid conflict and additional stress; however, they likely will not follow through on their commitments.
On a similar note, individuals who score high on Dutiful tend to avoid conflict by not providing their stance on certain topics. These individuals are eager to please and would rather have everyone get along versus “rocking the boat”. Another characteristic of high Dutiful individuals is they hold their superiors in high regard and often want to please them. We likely will see them agreeing with their supervisor regardless of their opinion and will take on projects/tasks just to appease them.
The Leisurely and Dutiful combination is another area where we might see an internal struggle for the individual under stress. On one hand, these individuals tend to prefer to work off their own personal agenda and don’t like to be bothered by others’ requests. However, they also have a strong desire to please others, especially their supervisors. When coaching an individual with this combination, have them focus on identifying when each tendency is likely to emerge. Start with their need to focus on their own agenda. Does this occur with certain people, projects or during certain times? Have them write down a few past experiences where they exhibited this type of behaviour. Once identified, have them assign activities to each occurrence that will indicate how they can approach the situation the next time it arises. For example, if the trigger is a particular person that irritates them when asked for a request, one activity could be that when that person reaches out again, have them write down whether the request is reasonable and how they are going to best work with the individual. If the trigger is a particular project, then an activity could be to put a time management plan together with reasonable deadlines. These activities will help coach them the next time they have a similar situation and will help with accountability.
As stated previously, these individuals also have a hard time with conflict due to their need to please others and tend to avoid providing their personal opinions. One tip could be to help them better understand their values, beliefs and opinions; what are they passionate about? Use probing questions to get them to think about what is important to them and what they personally stand for. An easy way to do this is to have them think about a time when they neglected to provide their opinion on a certain topic. What were some of the factors that influenced their decision to not speak up? Have them write down what the issue was and what their stance is on that topic. Then, have the individual write down the best and worst case scenario if they had provided their thoughts and opinion. Keep these in a journal so they can reflect back and remind them what is important. If they know where they stand on different issues, it will be much easier for them to speak up the next time the issue or situation arises.
