When a team member shows problematic behaviour, the team leader’s job is to address expectations. But a leader who is afraid of seeming harsh or hostile may avoid that important conversation altogether—even at the cost of team performance. This reluctance to act stems from the fine line between dependability and people-pleasing at work.
Some leaders are more concerned with appearing loyal to executives than earning their team’s trust. It can make them seem ingratiating toward authority and unwilling to protect their employees. At Hogan, we describe this type of behaviour as Dutiful.
Characteristics of Dutiful Leaders
The Hogan assessments measure personality strengths, counterproductive tendencies, and values. The Hogan Development Survey (HDS) measures the dark side of personality in 11 behavioural patterns, called derailers. These characteristics may be strengths on a day-to-day basis, but they can cause career derailment when an individual stops self-monitoring under pressure, stress, complacency, or boredom. The HDS’s Dutiful derailer concerns seeming supportive and loyal, at times to a fault.
A Dutiful leadership style can have strengths. In addition to being dependable, these leaders typically have reputations for being flexible, agreeable, and compliant. They can be easy to work with because they accommodate whatever’s asked of them. But when overused, this behaviour style turns into people-pleasing, ingratiation, and reluctance to take independent action. Leaders might seek approval before acting, hesitate to speak up, depend on others for advice, and wait for direction. They tend to be unwilling to challenge their superiors or question the status quo. (Think of TV workplace comedy characters Gabe Lewis from The Office and Tom Wambsgans from Succession.)
Why People-Pleasing Doesn’t Help Leaders
The same dependability that earns trust early in a career can damage a leader’s reputation when used in excess. Without strategic self-awareness, leaders who have Dutiful tendencies can limit their careers, alienate their teams, and hinder organisational outcomes.
Leaders at higher levels are expected to be independent, self-reliant, and willing to take and defend a position. Advancement in most organisations requires a degree of self-sufficiency, decisiveness, and tough-mindedness.
If a leader is unable to make decisions without supervisor approval, their employees might lose trust in them. If they’re too ingratiating to authority, they might not stand up for their direct reports. (Some might describe this as “kiss up, kick down” behaviour.) People-pleasing often means difficulty providing critical feedback, especially in a formal setting. If a leader always withholds their opinion for fear of contradiction, no one can tell what they actually think.
How to Manage People-Pleasing at Work
Dutiful leaders should first acknowledge that deference could be a problematic behavioural response. Understand the conditions that prompt people-pleasing, including general states such as stress, pressure, and complacency, as well as specific triggers. Perhaps a previous work environment discouraged speaking up or unclear instructions resulted in blame.
Then build coping strategies or alternate behaviours by setting development goals. This might look like roleplaying expressing disagreement or giving negative feedback. Deciding on specific criteria for when supervisor approval is needed promotes independent decision-making. Creating a list of ideas for process or strategy improvements and sharing them can be another development exercise for Dutiful individuals to gain practice taking a stance.
The direct reports of a people-pleasing leader should gauge their level of psychological safety in the team or environment. If the environment feels safe, the team could request support or express needs related to business objectives, thus giving the leader a strategic reason to speak up for them. When providing an opinion that the leader might perceive as dissenting, team members can support their case with data and consensus.
Building and maintaining a high-performing team will earn esteem for a leader more successfully than people-pleasing behaviour. Effective leadership sometimes requires the assertiveness to contradict superiors and the autonomy to make an impact.
Expert Contributor
Ryan Rush, PhD, is a cognitive psychologist who works as a senior consultant on the talent solutions team at Hogan Assessments.
*This article originally appeared on Hogan Assessments.
